Still not "#*@*!" ready ...

I decided I better wait until this morning to post this update, because if I'd written it last night, it would have taken every ounce of self-restraint to not use the real word versus "#*@*!". For all you American Idol fans out there, like Randy J., "I'm just keeping it real".

As you can guess from the title, Dane's neutrophil count was not high enough for him to start month two of IC yesterday. Instead of going up, his neutrophils went down marginally from last week (.57 last Tuesday and .48 yesterday). The doctor didn't seem concerned and reassured me a delay like this is completely normal. In the moment, it really doesn't matter what the doctor says - we just want to keep going to move Dane's treatment along. Delays are frustrating for the following reasons:

- We have absolutely no control or ability to plan life and preparing all of us (including Grandma and Grandpa) weekly for treatment and hospital stays that don't happen is difficult

- The three year treatment clock doesn't start ticking until Dane is done this phase and officially begins the next phase, so any delay now just adds to the total length of his treatment

- This phase and the next are both pretty heavy duty and the longer we are in the midst of them, the more likely it is that baby "H" is going to be born at a pretty hectic time

- Although we hate the chemo and drugs, knowing he is being treated gives us some sense of peace that he is winning this brutal battle

On the positive side, yesterday was a good day because ... my OB released me from "pre-mature labour pergatory"; the baby has had a growth spurt since the end of February and is now almost 3.5 pounds; Dane's hemoglobin count is 101 - the highest it's been since January and near normal; and Dane really enjoyed his time at the Cancer Clinic because he spent it playing with his two new friends - Hayden and Jessie. If only adults' minds were wired like kids and we could count a day spent at HSC playing Nintendo DS as a highlight!

Dane is off to school very soon and given I'm in a major need for a change of scenery (aka - get out of the house), I'm heading to the new Hydro building to visit a few folks and see where one day I will hopefully work again after this difficult journey is behind us.

Take care everyone - Janie and Dirk