These days I feel like a student with a very overdue assignment. I know I need to get my "work" done but I just haven't been able to get to it. After a couple of weeks of procrastinating I'm giving myself a proverbial kick in the butt tonight and posting our news from the past several weeks.
Since I last wrote Dane has had two monthly chemo treatments. One was mid-September and the other was just this morning. He continues to feel pretty well and his blood counts remain decent. Today's neutrophils are a little lower than usual and not optimal, so we have to return to the clinic in two weeks for a follow-up blood test. The good news is his hemoglobin has rebounded (it was a bit lower in Sept) and is sitting in the middle of the normal range. Bodes well for hockey ... I'll get to that update in a minute. The next week will likely not be ideal - the steroids have been affecting him more in recent months. September was brutal and scary -Dane was really emotional and down. We are hoping it was a "blip" due to all the changes in his life and that this month is better. All of us and his oncology team are anxious for the next seven days to be behind us.
We spent much of September and early October in the rink as Dane and Ashley participated in evaluations for A1 hockey & district (A) ringette. In both their cases, energy = effort = positive results. Ashley was successful in her skates and very pleased her hard work landed her on the district team with her BFF. After a bit of a sluggish start (tryouts began the week of Dane's last chemo treatment), Dane hit his stride and for the second year is playing the highest level of hockey for his age. He is really happy with his coaches and players and is already making new friends. Although it's very hard to go through the process, it's all made worthwhile when you see the kids branch out of their comfort zone and develop new friendships. We were really fortunate last year to meet some great new people and we are looking forward to this year being the same. The next couple of weeks are filled with practices and a couple of tournaments and then league play starts in late October/early November.
My return to work in mid-September went pretty smoothly. I didn't enjoy the first few days and I really, really missed the kids. Having Dirk in the same building was a big help and as much as I thought the car pooling would drive us both crazy, it's actually working out well because we get to catch up to & from work every day. Once I got over my loneliness, I started to shift my mind-set back to the world of Hydro and building dams and I actually began to "enjoy" work. Intuitively I knew it was time because I'd been home for too long with my complete focus the kids and Dane's illness. Of course I still think about it when I'm at the office, but I have a job to do and that requires a different kind of focus. Probably the hardest part of returning was getting over the "nagging" feeling the other shoe would drop if I let my guard down and returned to the world of the "living" as I describe it. I know it isn't logical, but it's how I felt. Now that I've been at it for a month, I'm past that fear and know it's best for everyone that I be employed again. Clare has adjusted really well to her nanny and we are so thankful to have such a kind and warm young woman looking after the kids.
Late September was our time to remember Cole and how his presence, even for such a short time, enhanced our lives. The kids still have their moments when they are sad their older brother is not here, but we remind them his gift to them is to live in the moment and be happy. We know that is what he would wanted for his special siblings.
I will sign-off before my ability to articulate really abandons me. I'm pretty tired tonight - this working for a living is definitely an adjustment!
Until next time, take care - Janie & Dirk
